Its Friday morning, 6:30am. I wake to see Ethan still fast asleep next to me, usually I would make the most of a possible lie in… and turn over. Instead, I slowly edge out of bed and close the bedroom door behind me. I see the warm sun light coming from the front bedroom, this was meant to be Ethan’s room. I stand for a minute, feeling the warmth of the light on my toes.
Walking downstairs, I take extra time to appreciate the wooden bannister, the coving on the walls. Soon enough I’m in the living room, it looks lived in. Toys randomly laying on the floor, stuffed bears take up the sofa and there are hand drawn pictures of sonic left like confetti on the carpet.
I make it past the obstacles, opening the curtains, the warm morning sunlight beams through the windows and brightens up the whole room. I never get bored of the view from these windows, its a quiet street, filled with more cats than people throughout the day. The view of neighbours’ garden flowers brighten up the street, making it feel more homely.
In the kitchen, I switch the kettle on and sit at the table, which looks out onto a garden, its cold and dark throughout the winter and gets a lot of sunshine and heat during the summer. I get a sense of calm just sitting in the quiet, slowly trying to wake up and get started for the day. Not long after, I hear foot steps and a voice calling, to ask where I am.
When we moved in. I joked with friends about, how like the house, I looked ‘OK’ on the outside (when people would ask ‘how I was doing, was I ok?) but if someone took a closer look; they would see the cracks & hurt that had been well hidden, disguised.
The house has its problems, some big, some small. Things that will hopefully be fixed and restored to the way they should be.
I always dreamt of owning my own home, and all the things that came along with that. The last couple of years has taught me that, sometimes you end up taking a different route and that’s ok. I get a happy feeling when I put my key in the front door, slowly but surely, I am putting my mark on it and it feels warm, homely and cosy for myself and Ethan.